Unpredictability
by LittleHellion
Summary: In which Naruto discovers he has a bloodline limit, Sasuke mocks it, immediately gets his behind kicked, and Sakura gets a nosebleed.


Disclaimer: I don't own canon Naruto. However, I do own the crack I must've been on when I wrote this ages ago.

Author's Note: This has no definite time frame...but Anko is mentioned, and the third is still the Hokage...I think I did that on purpose, because it just adds to the crack. Since I don't remember, I just left it that way, because it's amusing.

Unpredictability

* * *

Naruto ran to meet his team as soon as he found out. This was the best thing to happen to him since Ichiraku started their half-off special on Fridays! 

"Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan! I just found out I have a…blood…thing. One like the bastard has. Only mine's ten times cooler. So…now that I'm cool, will you go out with me?"

"Idiot! Just because you say you've got a _bloodline limit – _and only a moron would _not _know what it's called – doesn't mean you're as cool as Sasuke-kun! Not even close!"

And with that she bonked him on the head.

"Ow, Sakura-chan…I was just…"

"You couldn't possibly have a bloodline limit, Naruto," Sasuke interjected haughtily. "You don't have a clan."

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?"

"Betting is pointless, since I am going to win anyway."

"Fine! I'll just_ tell _you, and you'll be sorry when I beat you! I may not know who my family is, but I know I can kick your ass!"

"Then let's hear it. It could never beat the Sharingan."

"Fine! It's…"

-

Sakura looked at Naruto, dumbfounded. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and that damn cat that always escaped was rolling around on the ground, seemingly having a seizure. If you'd asked the cat, it would've told you it was laughing at the absurdity of the situation. But cats don't normally let on that they can talk to homo sapiens, and so it continued…rolling.

"Naruto…that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Are you _sure _it's a bloodline limit?"

"Of _course _it is, Sakura-chan! Grandpa Hokage said so when he was talking to Kakashi-sensei! He didn't know I was listening…but isn't it cool?"

Sasuke took this time to voice his own thoughts. "It figures. The dumbest genin in history has the dumbest bloodline limit in history."

"Oh, you're going _down, _bastard!"

Naruto rushed Sasuke, who raised his arms to block anything Naruto threw his way. But Naruto used his super-awesome bloodline limit to turn the fight in his favor, ending up behind Sasuke. With a cry of 'gyaaaaaaah,' Naruto heaved his (subconsciously) chakra-charged leg back, and booted Sasuke in the behind.

Hard.

Unprepared for this absurd approach, Sasuke flew forward, smacking into Sakura. For one excruciating moment, it looked as if Sakura would get her kiss after all…but instead of Sasuke's lips, she got Sasuke's forehead…directly to her nose.

Sasuke fell after colliding with Sakura, leaving her unconscious with a gushing nose.

Just then, Kakashi-sensei poofed into existence. "Yo…what the heck happened here?!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. "I found out about my bloodline limit. I used it to kick Sasuke's ass, and I guess Sakura-chan got a nosebleed because she likes me now, and I _did_ look pretty awesome."

"Bloodline…limit? What's this about?"

Naruto pouted. "You don't even remember? You were talking to Grandpa Hokage about it this morning!"

Kakashi thought…and thought…and then hit his face with his palm. "Are you talking about…?"

"Yep! Unpredictability!"

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto…that's not a bloodline limit."

"But…Kakashi-sensei…he said that it…"

"He said that it 'runs in your blood.' That's different than having a bloodline limit."

"Oh…" Naruto trailed off, looking downcast. But then, his eyes lit up and he smiled. "Then you must know who my parents are!"

"Nope, not a clue."

"But…"

"Hokage-sama said that unpredictability runs in your blood. There have been plenty of unpredictable ninja before. It could've been any of them. Hell, it could've been Anko!"

Naruto gulped visibly. "D-don't joke like that, Kakashi-sensei. You'll give me nightmares."

Kakashi just smiled in response.

Naruto studied the unconscious forms of his teammates. "Well," he said, sighing, "it gave me a way to beat Sasuke."

Kakashi raised his only (partially) visible eyebrow, gesturing to his downed teammates. "What are you going to do about them?"

Naruto didn't quite understand the question, so he replied honestly. "I'll tell them I was just kidding…and then rub it in Sasuke's face that I beat him_ without _a bloodline limit!"

And with that, Naruto flashed Kakashi a grin, saluted, and showed him his latest trick, involving a few smoke bombs he'd altered.

Who knew a cloud of purple sparkles could actually conceal a person long enough for them to get away?

Kakashi sighed. Naruto really _was _unpredictable.

* * *

And now, ladies and gents, it's over. I know I ought to be shot...but I'd bet my life that no one will do it. Heh. My sense of humor is sickening sometimes.


End file.
